PARTY ON!

Donna has gone back to London and we all know what that means. It is time to rehang my black velvet paintings, put the keg back in the fridge and crank up the stereo! Phantom of the Opera sounds so good when really loud, like a 12 out of 50 on the volume meter.

I was out boating with my buddy, David. He has the boat and I have a pair of sun glasses, so I look really cool on his boat. We had an epic adventure. After removing 3 inches of snow from the deck and passing through the Ballard Locks we cautiously made our way into Puget Sound. The wind was blowing at least 4mph and was whipping up waves cresting at close to six inches!

After close to an hour of fighting our way across the Sound we arrived at Blake Island with a little liquid courage in our bellies and a new boat fender on board. It is one big ass boat fender we rescued. It is on its way to our friend Mark. He has the big ass boat and I take two pairs of sun glasses when I am out on his boat and wear them both at the same time.

Speaking of our buddy Mark. He is doing a little one on one battle of his own with cancer, but is kicking it's ass. I am sure the doctors think it is due to their chemo. I know differently, it is due to prayer. I have been putting in a good word for Mark to the God of Huge Camp Fires and Potato Guns and it seems to be doing the trick. Yesterday I also sent some vibes to the God of Happy Boating and Crab Eating. So just don't sit there, say some prayers.

Now it is time for Dow to get serious. While on Blake Island I saw something that just broke my heart and I am focusing on changing it. We all need to take on a cause to make the world a better place.

While walking the beach I spotted a raccoon without a tail. That is correct, no cute, fluffy, ringed tail. I am sure he is made fun on by all the other raccoons on the island and has no girl friend. I want to change this, but is not going to be cheap. More about donations later.

This poor raccoon is so down trodden that he not only needs a tail, but it needs to be a cool tail. The Pin the Tail on the Raccoon Foundation is presently looking to locate a nicely groomed and feathered Irish Setter tail as his replacement. If you know of one please let the foundation know. He would be the coolest raccoon on the island. All the females would not be able to keep their paws off that tail!

Yes this is going to be very expensive. I will need a helicopter to dart the pitiful looking thing from. He would then be transported in a net hung from under the helicopter ( like they do with bears and mountain goats ) to the Harbor View Hospital where a team of surgeons, lead by Dr. House, would be awaiting his arrival. After two weeks of recovery and six weeks of rehab ( tail waging therapy ) he would be on his way back to Blake Island where he would be received back to the island with a Potlatch put on by the local Native Americans. After feasting on fresh clams and smoked salmon he would then be released back into the wild with his anti rejection medications to live happily ever after. ( That last part makes my eyes tear up. )

So, now don't be cheap. Send your checks to"TPTTOTRF" at my home address. Do not delay for this poor little fellow needs a tail. One of the board members feels he also needs matching ears, but as you know that is just more expense so it may have to wait, but it would be nice to get it all done with one visit to the hospital. Thanks for your support!

Well gotta go!

Sitting in Boston on a different day

Donna may think she is having a fun time, but she is definitely not kicking up her heals like I am. Take today for instance. I have spent all morning in my hotel room working on our taxes and watching the stock market drop and then drop some more. Talk about warm fuzzes!

Last night I went for a lovely stroll in blizzard like conditions. If it had been a little colder, snowing a little harder and the wind blowing just 10 MPH harder it would have been perfect out. I had to remember you can't have every thing your way. It was nice to see that my ears had not turned black and fallen off from frost bite when I looked in the mirror this morning!

Donna gets home soon so I need to do a little party clean up around the house. I guess I will also need to take down the really cool black velvet paints I have hung since she has been gone. I am going to especially miss awakening to the painting of the female Amazon warrior riding on the back of a tiger while only wearing a bandoleer across her chest and holding an AK-47 in one hand and a bottle of 21 year old Highland Park scotch in the other. Oh, did I mention she has a viking helmet on her head with gigantic horns and a feather plume on on top. I wish I had a photo of it to post, but I am sure you can just close your eyes and see it in your mind.


Well, sorry it has been so long between posts. I will try to do better, but give no promises. Sometimes I am just too busy getting crazy and out of control. Later!

Sitting in Boston

It has been a few days since I have blogged and I am sure all of my followers have missed me. Well I'm back with up dated excitement!

After returning from three weeks in London I felt I had been having too much fun and needed to to get back in the groove of everyday life. I slept the first night, awakening at 4 AM and decided it was a good day to get started on painting the bathroom. I spent the next two days locked in that five by eight foot space. Talk about fun! By the time I stepped out of that room I looked like I had been in a paintball shoot out.....and had lost. The bathroom looks great, especially with that new toilet seat. I almost bought the "Glacier Bay" model toilet seat, but it kind of sounded cold to sit on.

The cat is still alive and sticks to me like glue. How long can a cat live? I caught him on my bed the other day. I didn't know he could move so fast. You would think he could catch a mouse or something with moves like he showed me.

So here I sit in Boston with no shoes to go down to the gym in. After my gluttonous night of BBQ chicken pizza and diet coke I could have used a good 3 or 4 hours on the exercise bike. Oh well.

Gotta go! It is almost 10 AM here and I need to get to Dunkin Donuts before the run out of Boston Creams!

Back in Portland

There I was, naked in the shower, soon to be on my way to to the the Underground to Heathrow Airport to SeaTac to Portland International to the employee bus to my car to the house and Saylor, the worthless cat. I was on my way home. Parting was was hard.

So there I am on the plane. We are taxing out and a baby has been crying, maybe screaming, for about ten to fifteen minutes. Some moron, I think an American, yells "Can't you shut that kid up!" The plane became silent, except for the baby, who's shrill screams reminded me of a F-4 going into after burner. I so wanted to say something bright, like " Your making more noise than the baby" or better yet " Who is sounding like a baby now, you dip shit!". But it was not to be needed. Some gentle grandmother type turned around in her seat, with a smile, and said something to him that made him shut up and feel like shit. Job well done!

Nine hours and fifteen minutes we landed in Seattle. Sunny and sixty degrees. The next thing I knew I was home and in bed. Alone. And the cat has become my shadow. He will not leave my side. This is not a good thing. So far I have only stepped on him once, but I am sure more times are to come.

Well today I went a touch loco and pruned the roses. Yes, with out gloves. It does not get crazier than that! Later gators!

Worst snow storm in 18 years hits London!

Donna going to work. BRRRRRR!

This is one happy boy! Click on to enlarge!

I was planning on leaving for the States on Wednesday, but I may be here a few extra days. No buses were running in London today and the Tube was at about 10%. Thank goodness the pubs were open! ( Oh, along with the British Museum) They get 6" of snow around here and they start acting like Portland or Seattle.

The British Museum wouldn't take me but a local pub did. It didn't pay all that well, but I was inside warm and dry. The beer was cold. No one was fired, but my stint as Chief Beer Puller was short. One beer.

The snow is still falling and per what I over heard at the pub it is going to be a blizzard tonight! I may not get out of here until March. I hope Saylor has enough food and water.

I went and bought bacon and eggs for breakfast tomorrow morning. It may be Donna and my last morning together for a few weeks if the blizzard does not hit. Timing is everything!

I think I will venture out and pick up a Subway sandwich for dinner and then meet Donna at the Swan for a pint when she gets off work. Later!!

Things to miss when crawling home from the pub!

There you are at the pub. It is late and they are about to close. You just finished your 29th half pint and are on your way to number 30. It has been a productive day, but now you need to think about the crawl home. You carefully put on your gloves and knee pads. After running head first into a telephone booth you now also strap on your helmet. Here are a few items to stay away form on your crawl home....or as a matter of fact anytime.

This stuff is really sticky and hard to off your gloves and knee pads!

The Problem With Drinking Beer

You know how the first beer goes down so easily and the second can follow so quickly. So you now have two pints sloshing around in your belly. Let me tell you that is not exactly correct. For what you really have is a pint in your bladder and a second pint trying to work its way into your bladder as well. You will not notice this until you are about one third the way back to your flat. This is guaranteed!

You now have really only one of two choices at this point. Stop at the next pub you see. It should be within a stones throw. Rush in and use their toilet. The Mens is usually in the basement. Then calmly ease up to the bar and order a half pint. Have a moment and enjoy your half pint. Now this is the important point. Make sure you get rid of that second pint before leaving. You should be able to enjoy a nice stroll home.

The second choice. Just go for it. It isn’t really that far. You know you can make it. This is usually my pick of the two. By the time I get back to the building Donna is living in I must look like a three legged rabbit being chased by a rabid fox. I am trying to get the keys out of my pocket while also removing my long coat. I usually try this while wearing gloves. At this point I am breathing and sweating harder than most marathon runners at the twenty mile point. But if you make it you feel like a gold medal winner and you are ready to go celibrate with a nice cold pint. Hell, mabe two!